I read this paper through two times – the first time when I read it through I took note of all of the grammatical and usage errors and there undoubtedly were some in existence. There were a few instances where the number of nouns that were being referred to did not match the proceeding associated words.
The second time that I read the paper through, I assessed it for cohesion. I feel that this student did not tie everything together sufficiently. The student created somewhat thought out arguments, however they did not fully tie them all together. In addition to not tying all of the ideas together, the overall argument lacked development as well. This analysis is in regard to the paper’s grade under the organization column and I would give this area of the paper a C.
Something that the student did a pretty good job with is working with the assigned texts. They definitely intervened all three texts into their essay and did a relatively fair job of setting up each quote well within the paper’s context. In this category of grading I would give the paper a B.
As far as the presentation of the paper, I believe that there were a few incomplete sentences and as I previously mentioned, there were some usage and grammatical errors. There were not many blaring grammatical errors, however, there were still some in existence. That being said, I would give the paper a C+ in this categorical area.
The final area of analysis is the thesis. This paper does have a thesis, however as I have previously analyzed, the paper lacks coherence therefore it does not always follow the thesis statement. Something that I find that students consistently struggle with is making sure that all of their arguments tie together well with their thesis. In this category I would give this paper a B.
Overall I would give this paper a C+ – it is not terrible but it definitely has much area for improvement.